


A Shopping Trip and Two Dinners

by ikkiM



Series: Scenes in Search of a Fic [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Nonsense, Unfinished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-02 21:04:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4073815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikkiM/pseuds/ikkiM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brienne settles into life at Casterly Rock, sort of...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shopping with Jaime

**Author's Note:**

> This is more of my Mod AU that is never, ever getting finished.
> 
> This bit is a series of three short chapters that really go together. I will post them all within the next ten days, but here is the first. Technically, the first two would have happened before the Golf Outing.
> 
> Again your set up is that Tywin has heart trouble and no one but Brienne and his doctors knows. Brienne has been hired to live with him at Casterly Rock and pose as his assistant, but really monitor his health. Brienne is a recent college graduate from Winterfell where she was friends with the Starks.
> 
> Still mostly unbeta-ed and still more about me letting this fic go, be free out into the world, rather than have it sit in my google docs like a horseshoe crab with human eyes. (Haven reference!)

Shopping with Jaime Lannister had to be one of the seven hells. It was worse than shopping with Renly. At least Renly didn’t mock her though Loras had. Jaime was much worse than Loras had ever been. He clearly wasn’t happy having to take her. She’d tried to talk Tywin out of it. He’d held firm that as long as she worked for him and lived in his home, she should dress as a Lannister. She could only pray that it would be over soon. They’d found nothing in her size at the first store. They headed back to the car.

He slammed the car door shut. “Why couldn’t you be a normal woman?”

Brienne clenched her jaw. “I am a normal woman. I’m just taller than you.” How many times had she heard that? _A normal woman_.

“And that alone makes you abnormal, wench.” He poked her in the ribs viciously.

“The thirty-seven year old man who still lives with his father is calling _me_ abnormal. And my name is Brienne.” She flicked his arm. This was possibly going to be the worst day of her life. He had no concept of personal space.

Jaime gripped the steering wheel harder. They stopped at the next store.

Three hours later, she was tired, miserable, and she really just wanted to wear her cotton underwear, faded jeans and Winterfell University t-shirt. Shopping montages looked like so much fun in movies. The woman always finished looking more polished and beautiful than when they had started. Brienne was red in the face, her feet ached, she had lost one of the buttons on her blouse after the three hundredth time she’d taken if off. Modeling the outfits for Jaime had been humiliating.

He’d poked her, prodded her, told her she looked fat in pale green, laughed in her face when she’d tried on pink and he’d kept calling her ‘wench.’ Nothing would be more satisfying than choking the life from the man. The angrier she became, the more he seemed to be enjoying himself.

“One more store.”

She banged her head against the headrest. “Gods, no. Please, just take me back to the house.” She whimpered. The experience had been awful, but Jaime did know more about fashion than Renly and Loras. He’d actually chosen several items she didn’t mind, sporty dresses that didn’t make her feel too large or too awkward. Nothing that looked too girly. At least he hadn’t tried to dress her like a drag queen. Shoes were a different story. He seemed to think she should wear heels with everything. They’d gotten into a screaming match over sandals.

“Now, wench, I think you’re going to like this one.” He poked her thigh. She smacked his hand. “We have you Lannister appropriate on the outer layer, but you’ll need an all new inner layer as well.”

Her eyes widened in horror as she understood. “You are not picking out my underwear.” She had reached her breaking point.

He rested his gaze on her chest. “Just panties, you really don’t need to wear a bra.”


	2. Dinner with the Lannisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a tough day of shopping, a dinner at Casterly Rock.

Tyrion heard them coming down the stairs. He couldn’t wait to meet his father’s new assistant. Jaime had spent the day giving him a running text commentary about the _stupid, stubborn, ugly wench_ and her lack of fashion sense.

Tyrion heard a feminine voice. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to walk in these.” She was complaining, but not with the wheedling tone Cersei often used. This was much more matter-of-fact. His first glimpse of Brienne Tarth was of her stumbling down the stairs. Jaime caught her and stopped her from falling down the stairs. Tyrion heard him mutter, “Big, clumsy oaf.”

The woman was wearing a blue cocktail dress, sleeveless. It stopped at mid-thigh. She wasn’t wearing stockings and her pale skin was freckled, but otherwise unblemished. Her hair was straw-blonde and in a layered cut that looked like she’d just run her fingers through it. She wore no makeup. Jaime looked splendid as always in his perfectly tailored charcoal suit, dove gray shirt and Lannister crimson tie. The woman elbowed Jaime in the ribs. They made quite the odd couple. Jaime had noticed him at the foot of the stairs, but the woman hadn’t. He grinned at his brother and blew softly on the hem of the her skirt. She took a quick step back only to tread on Jaime’s foot, regaining her balance when he caught her arm. Jaime grimaced.

“My, you are a giantess,” Tyrion spoke with near reverence. “You’re almost as tall as I am good-looking.” He watched her turn a surprising shade of pink. She started to introduce herself, but he interrupted her. “Oh, my dear, I know who you are, if not exactly _who_ you are. I imagine you know who I am as well. Now let’s go have dinner and lots of wine. I’m sure we’ll get to be great friends.” He took her hand and escorted her to the dining room, leaving Jaime behind.

At dinner Tyrion watched Jaime who was watching Brienne who was watching Tywin.  With a flick of his hand he caught Jaime's attention and engaged in a silent conversation by raising an eyebrow. _Who is she?_

 _No idea._ Jaime shook his head in response.

Tyrion waved his hand Brienne’s direction. _Nice dress. Matches her eyes._

Jaime smiled smugly. _I know. I have excellent taste._

Tyrion touched his blond hair. _Is she a Lannister?_

Jaime shrugged. _No clue. She wouldn’t tell me anything._

Tyrion tilted his head letting his eyes slip from Jaime to Brienne to Tywin back to Brienne and back to Tywin before again settling on Jaime. _Do you think he’s fucking her?_

Jaime shook his head repeatedly as if in distress.

After dinner, the brothers escaped into the library with a bottle of Scotch.

"Brother, you didn't tell me she had legs like that. I mean, the face, not so much, but a man could eat a banquet off of those legs."

"I didn't know she had them until Father made me take her shopping. And what a nightmare that was. I've never met a woman who disliked shopping for clothes and hated spending money."

"So, she's not Cersei then?" Tyrion grinned and sipped his drink.

As usual, Jaime ignored his question. Jaime did not discuss Cersei. "Did you notice Father? I think he sent us at least 33.8% less disapproving looks tonight. Yet he seemed much attuned to big Brienne.

“And now they are taking a stroll through the garden? This is quite a turn of events. Are you sure they aren’t fucking?”

Jaime shuddered.

—

Brienne wished she found the garden walk more peaceful. The day with Jaime had left her feeling vulnerable and annoyed and the shoes were killing her feet. What she really wanted was to hit something, or someone. For a moment she imagined Jaime with a black eye and bloody nose. The thought was strangely soothing.

“What are you smiling at, my dear?” Tywin asked her.

She blushed, but didn’t want to lie. “I was thinking about my day with Jaime.”

Tywin nodded as if in understanding. “Jaime is my eldest son. He’ll take over the company one day.”

“You trust him?” she blurted out before thinking. “I mean, with, you know, his history.”

Tywin paused for a moment, then spoke, “Jaime did betray Aerys Targaryen, but he would never betray the _family_.”

Brienne nodded, but didn’t truly understand. She changed the subject, “Mr. Lannister. I have worked out a mild exercise schedule. We’ll start with walking at least one half mile per day and increase from there as your stamina improves. We need to work on your flexibility and increasing your muscle mass, but that will come with time.”

Tywin blinked.

Brienne continued, “Tomorrow I will have a discussion with Varys about your meals. No more cream sauces. No more fatty meats. No bleached flour. No refined sugars. I’ll rid the kitchen of inappropriate foodstuffs and speak with the catering service you use. It’s best not to tempt yourself with foods you cannot have. I’ve already taken the liberty of having the alcohol removed from your study.”

“I really think you’re going too far, Ms. Tarth.”

“I’m going too far, Mr. Lannister? I’d like to point out that I’m wearing a dress.” She could see him struggling not to argue. She looked him straight in the eye. “No drink of alcohol is worth your health.”

Tywin muttered, “You’ve never had a forty-year-old Scotch.”


	3. Dinner with the Starks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Brienne are in Winterfell and having dinner with the Starks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just to contrast the two families.

Stark family dinners were a far cry from Lannister family dinners. Brienne had told him they didn’t dress for dinner, so he’d come down in business casual attire, perfectly tailored trousers, a sweater which clung to him, and handmade Volanti loafers. Everyone else was in jeans and t-shirts. They passed around giant bowls of spaghetti and the youngest Stark girl had thrown pieces of garlic bread at everyone. The napkins were paper. There were no servants and a shocking lack of flatware. There was no assigned seating. He’d staked out a spot next to Brienne and found Robb Stark on his other side.

Father had sent him to Winterfell with Brienne. She actually liked the Starks and wanted to stay with them. That’s how he found himself chasing a meatball around his plate with a salad fork.

He looked around the large circular table. Ned Stark was flanked by his son Robb, and his orphaned nephew Jon, Theon Greyjoy next to Jon, showing off his new tattoo, Arya Stark came next, followed by Catelyn, then Sansa on Brienne’s other side. The younger boys, Rickon and Bran, had opted to eat in the kitchen seeing as they had guests. Arya was a truly frightening girl of thirteen. She was holding her fork like a catapult, ready to launch a dressing-covered crouton at his forehead.

He moved quickly to whisper something to Brienne. The crouton just missed him, but some dressing landed on his chest. The little girl looked at his designer sweater and smirked. He thought kicking her bad form and instead gifted her with the sight of a half-chewed meatball in his mouth. She made a retching noise.

Robb intervened, “Brienne. How do you like living in Lannisport?”

Jaime rested his arm on the back of her chair possessively. “Living at Casterly Rock means she doesn’t have much need to go into the city.”

Brienne rolled her eyes at him. “It’s much warmer than Winterfell.”

He casually slipped his arm around her shoulders as if to keep her warm. “It is chilly here.” 

“How is it living with the Dark Lord of the Sith?” Arya asked Brienne. All conversation stopped. Jaime choked on his mid-range red. Ned glared at her. “That’s what you call him, Dad.”

Brienne narrowed her eyes at Arya. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t refer to Mr. Lannister by such a vile nickname. At least in my presence. While he may not always express himself in the easiest of ways, he is a kind and caring man.”

Jaime removed his arm from her shoulders and pinched the bridge of his nose. He should have warned them.

Ned dropped his fork.

“Fuck me,” Theon exhaled.

“Theon - you’ll not use such language at my dinner table,” Catelyn scolded.

Sansa swiftly changed the subject. “So, I’ve been accepted into the Vale School of Fine Arts. I’m so excited. I’ll live in the dorms for the first year. I’ve been assigned a roommate, Mya Stone. I think she’s some distant relative of Renly’s.” Sansa blushed. Mya Stone was one of Robert’s bastards. Jaime smirked at her discomfort. She recovered, “Uh. Brienne. Do you know if there are any krav maga classes taught near the Vale?”

The women launched into a discussion. He leaned over to Robb. “What in the seven hells is krav maga?” He’d thought Bronn had said it was some sex book.

Jon overheard. “It’s a style of Dornish martial arts popularized by Oberyn Martell.”

Jaime sneered. “I know Martell. Went to Dayne Academy with him. He’s popularized some new fitness craze?”

Arya jumped in. “It’s not a fitness craze. It’s street fighting. Sansa met Brienne at class. Now I take it as well as Mom.”

Catelyn nodded.

Robb leaned into Jaime. “Sansa’s junior year--she got jumped by some guys one night on campus. Sandor Clegane saved her from the worst of it. She wanted to learn how to protect herself. Brienne gave her private lessons. Now she could probably take me out. She fights dirty. We’re glad of it.”

Jaime raised his brow at Sansa in newfound appreciation, but she was back in conversation with Brienne. He caught a movement out of the corner of his eye. He dropped his head behind Robb’s and heard the meatball squelch against the wall behind him.

This was definitely not a Lannister family dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last in this bit. I grouped these together because they seemed to connect.
> 
> I think I might go with "Kevan Lannister's Point of View" for the next grouping.
> 
> Thanks for all your kind words and support and helping me let this go.


End file.
